How To Win With Money Part 1: Couples Edition

Brett Shoemaker
2 min readSep 10, 2020

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You know the saying, “two heads are better than one”…this couldn’t be more true when related to money. It’s imperative that we all have open and honest discussions about our finances. It helps us understand our goals, our struggles, and potentially prevents us from making repeat mistakes. This post is part 1 where we focus exclusively on how to ‘win’ or succeed with money as a married couple. We’ll discuss the emotions and thought processes behind how managing money together creates a better environment for maximum growth with your biggest financial resource…your combined income. Winning with Money

It’s “Our” Money, Not “My” Money

If married, it’s no longer your money or their money, it’s OUR money. Regardless of who earns more. Budgeting, saving, & spending should be a jointed decision and a collaborative effort. No separate accounts. Yes, this is a trust thing. You share a bed, you share accounts…it’s that simple.

“But what about buying my spouse a gift that I don’t want them to know about”?

Most bank accounts have mobile apps these days and many allow you to ‘edit’ the description of the purchase in your history. Simply edit the description to say “birthday gift” or “anniversary present”. You can still keep it a secret without the need for a separate account. If you have a birthday or anniversary or Christmas coming up, simply determine a budget amount for the both of you to agree on and go crazy. But not too crazy, you don’t want to bust the budget!

It Doesn’t Matter Who Is the “Bread Winner”

Guys, listen…if you are the “bread winner”, that doesn’t GIVE YOU THE POWER TO MAKE ALL DECISIONS as it relates to how much to spend, what to buy, etc. You know what’s powerful for the EGO? Showing respect for your spouse by discussing what expenses are important for you both. Ladies, if you are the bread winner in the relationship, tread lightly. For many guys we’re programmed to be the provider and it can affect them mentally. Be proud (as you should), but Include your spouse on all decisions. Remember, it’s not mine or yours, it’s ours. Keeps everyone’s confidence high.

Make Money Discussions A Frequent Topic

Most importantly, discuss your dreams, passions, & goals related to money. Knowing what each other wants out of life financially can be the MOST INTIMATE thing you didn’t even know existed. Money can be sexy, who knew!?!

Stay tuned for Part 2!

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Brett Shoemaker
Brett Shoemaker

Written by Brett Shoemaker

Passionate Financial Coach on a journey for Financial Independence. My wife and I paid off over $600k of debt in 3 years. Now I help others do the same.

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